Sometimes, I wish that my ex had never moved back in. I mean, I do like having the extra money. I REALLY like having the extra money. But, now that my daughter has moved out, I kinda would like to know what it is like to live all alone, and to answer to only myself. Now, the ex and I still have a strictly platonic relationship, but still, after living together as man and wife, the dynamics of our relationship are a little bit different than ordinary room mates. It is hard to explain. I guess it is just companionship multiplied to the 2nd or something. I am starting to really find out who I am, and I would like to see myself without him in the picture. Unfortunately, it is not going to happen right now. Unless, he meets someone, or I meet someone, we are just going to continue living together, because I need the cash and he needs the cheap rent. It isn't that bad. I just know that someday, I am going to have to try it on my own.
My friend and I are still jogging. We went 3 times last week, and plan to do the same this week. I already feel better. I am looking forward to going again tonight. I hope she keeps it up. I love to run, and I love having a running partner.
I wonder if my libido will come back after I lose a few pounds. I finally got around to pleasuring myself again last night. It was nice. I need to do that again. One day, though, I hope to have the real thing, but for now, this will have to suffice.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
So Glad
I am so glad that I can update from work now. I'm dreading the time when I get cut off again. But, for now, I shall enjoy!
I had a journal on this website, and the site went down, so my journal was deleted. I have had that journal since 2004, or so. I was very sad to see it go. I never thought about losing all of that. Oh well, I guess it was time to start a new chapter anyway. The journal was mostly about hair, but I also added a lot about things going on in my life too. Sad to see it go for sure. I am still going to maintain a journal there, but I am keeping it strictly about hair (you know, since I am growing my hair to the floor and all).
My ex husband is starting to claim that he doesnt have enough money to pay me. He always comes through with his half of the rent, but when I ask him for money to pay the utilities, he never has it. I think he has paid for groceries once out of the 50 times that I have. I guess I'll have to give him a good old fashioned "pep talk" of the pay-up-or-get-the-hell-out kind. I really don't want to be taken advantage of. At least this time, I am not getting screwed literally...and I am not emotionally invested at all. Even with him not paying utitilities, I am still better off having him pay half the rent, so there you go.
I had a journal on this website, and the site went down, so my journal was deleted. I have had that journal since 2004, or so. I was very sad to see it go. I never thought about losing all of that. Oh well, I guess it was time to start a new chapter anyway. The journal was mostly about hair, but I also added a lot about things going on in my life too. Sad to see it go for sure. I am still going to maintain a journal there, but I am keeping it strictly about hair (you know, since I am growing my hair to the floor and all).
My ex husband is starting to claim that he doesnt have enough money to pay me. He always comes through with his half of the rent, but when I ask him for money to pay the utilities, he never has it. I think he has paid for groceries once out of the 50 times that I have. I guess I'll have to give him a good old fashioned "pep talk" of the pay-up-or-get-the-hell-out kind. I really don't want to be taken advantage of. At least this time, I am not getting screwed literally...and I am not emotionally invested at all. Even with him not paying utitilities, I am still better off having him pay half the rent, so there you go.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
No B for Me
I got an A in the class that I was so worried about. I am very happy about that. I had resigned to the fact that I was going to get a B, but dang I am glad it was an A. Thing is, my grade was pretty close to an A, and my teacher gave me an A for effort. That is fine. I can live with that.
I got a phone call from the admissions office the other day. The admissions counselor that is going over my application to the Rad Tech program said that I did not have the right CPR card. She said that I am supposed to have BLS for Healthcare Providers, and mine was just Heartsavers. What??? I couldn't even speak. I think I mumbled something like, " Are you sure? Pfft. Hhhh. Hmmm. Wha?". I finally said, "Okay", and hung up the phone. I couldn't speak for 5 minutes. This is going to keep me from getting into the program. I will have to wait another year to apply!
Fortunately, it was a mistake. I had received the wrong card from the American Heart Association. I did take the BLS for Health Care Providers! I thought I had. I knew I had. So, my instructor called the school to ensure that the mistake would not be counted against me. Shew!
I started running again last night. My good friend/neighbor and I decided to start jogging before taking kickboxing at the local gym. We both decided that we don't want to look like a couple of idiots gagging and coughing and wheezing in front of our peers. It went well, and we are going again tonight. She wants to work up to 2 miles, which will be easy peasy. I am hoping once she gets up to 2 miles, she will want to do 4. We will see.
I keep having dreams about a high school buddy of mine. I am not sure what that means. He lives in California and is happily married. He has a Doctorate in Bioengineering, and is very respected in his field. We were best friends in high school, and hung out a lot while he was a student at Georgia Tech. But, he moved away and we have pretty much fallen out of touch. I wonder if I should contact him. Something might be going on if he keeps following me around in my dreams.
I got a phone call from the admissions office the other day. The admissions counselor that is going over my application to the Rad Tech program said that I did not have the right CPR card. She said that I am supposed to have BLS for Healthcare Providers, and mine was just Heartsavers. What??? I couldn't even speak. I think I mumbled something like, " Are you sure? Pfft. Hhhh. Hmmm. Wha?". I finally said, "Okay", and hung up the phone. I couldn't speak for 5 minutes. This is going to keep me from getting into the program. I will have to wait another year to apply!
Fortunately, it was a mistake. I had received the wrong card from the American Heart Association. I did take the BLS for Health Care Providers! I thought I had. I knew I had. So, my instructor called the school to ensure that the mistake would not be counted against me. Shew!
I started running again last night. My good friend/neighbor and I decided to start jogging before taking kickboxing at the local gym. We both decided that we don't want to look like a couple of idiots gagging and coughing and wheezing in front of our peers. It went well, and we are going again tonight. She wants to work up to 2 miles, which will be easy peasy. I am hoping once she gets up to 2 miles, she will want to do 4. We will see.
I keep having dreams about a high school buddy of mine. I am not sure what that means. He lives in California and is happily married. He has a Doctorate in Bioengineering, and is very respected in his field. We were best friends in high school, and hung out a lot while he was a student at Georgia Tech. But, he moved away and we have pretty much fallen out of touch. I wonder if I should contact him. Something might be going on if he keeps following me around in my dreams.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Life
Grades are going to be posted today. I think I may have gotten my first 'B'. I am not happy about it. I guess there are worse things going on in the world. But, you know what? This is MY world damn-it, and I am not happy with a 'B'. That B is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm gonna get over it. I am going to talk myself in to being fine with a B. I might even forget about it on most days.
A friend of mine sent an email to all of her friends, including me, ranting about her ex-husband and how pitiful his relationship is with his daughter. Now, he does try. He deligently pays child support, and he tries to get his daughter to visit with him and his new family a couple of states away; however, he hasnt ever really built a bond with his daughter. I don't think he knows how, and I kind of feel sorry for him really. Anyway, my friend sent an email to all of us complaining about how her ex hasn't called his daughter in a couple of months, and how he should try harder to bond with her (which I agree), and how basically he is just a loser. I guess she must have forgotten that I raised my daughter without child support, and my daughter's father has been in prison for most of the time that she has been alive.
I wasn't offended by her email at all. We all have issues that we need to vent about to our friends. I am just giving a little background so that you might understand my response to her email:
"Well, I just think all men are A-holes anyway, with very few exceptions. All can be described in one word – S.E.L.F.I.S.H.
They can’t help it. God made them that way, unfortunately. We should feel sorry for them…maybe, bake them a cake with nothing on but an apron and high heels.
How about we cut the grass for them riding topless on the riding lawnmower? Better yet, we can listen to them wine about how pathetic their lives are. Let’s just give them all a break, and let the court system know that we don’t want child support anymore, that it is too much of a burden on the men, and anyway, how are they supposed to have fun with the guys and whores when they are spending all their hard earned money on their children?"
By the way Van, you are definitely one of the exceptions, along with my own father.
I got a collective "AMEN" from all of my friends on my response - which now that I think about it, is pretty sad.
I am definitely looking forward to this weekend. No homework. I am going to do some spring cleaning, and maybe take a nice relaxing bath.
A friend of mine sent an email to all of her friends, including me, ranting about her ex-husband and how pitiful his relationship is with his daughter. Now, he does try. He deligently pays child support, and he tries to get his daughter to visit with him and his new family a couple of states away; however, he hasnt ever really built a bond with his daughter. I don't think he knows how, and I kind of feel sorry for him really. Anyway, my friend sent an email to all of us complaining about how her ex hasn't called his daughter in a couple of months, and how he should try harder to bond with her (which I agree), and how basically he is just a loser. I guess she must have forgotten that I raised my daughter without child support, and my daughter's father has been in prison for most of the time that she has been alive.
I wasn't offended by her email at all. We all have issues that we need to vent about to our friends. I am just giving a little background so that you might understand my response to her email:
"Well, I just think all men are A-holes anyway, with very few exceptions. All can be described in one word – S.E.L.F.I.S.H.
They can’t help it. God made them that way, unfortunately. We should feel sorry for them…maybe, bake them a cake with nothing on but an apron and high heels.
How about we cut the grass for them riding topless on the riding lawnmower? Better yet, we can listen to them wine about how pathetic their lives are. Let’s just give them all a break, and let the court system know that we don’t want child support anymore, that it is too much of a burden on the men, and anyway, how are they supposed to have fun with the guys and whores when they are spending all their hard earned money on their children?"
By the way Van, you are definitely one of the exceptions, along with my own father.
I got a collective "AMEN" from all of my friends on my response - which now that I think about it, is pretty sad.
I am definitely looking forward to this weekend. No homework. I am going to do some spring cleaning, and maybe take a nice relaxing bath.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Where Did I Leave Off?
I can not remember where I left off before. I suppose I could read back to January and find out, but I am too darn lazy. I finally got away from prying eyes at work for just enough time to type out a blog entry.
So, the results of my sleep lab: I have sleep apnea. I have to wear a fabulous CPAP machine every night. I have only slept all the way thru the night once. Twice until 4am, and other times til around 1am. Really, I am kind of grateful that my insurance not only paid for my $4000.00 sleep study, but they also paid for my CPAP machine. Absolutely no out-of-pocket for me on that one. That being said, I am going to try my best to wear it as I should. I REALLY felt a difference this morning after using it. I woke up feeling like superwoman. I still have a lot of lost sleep to catch up on. They say it takes a while to make up the sleep deficit that I have accumulated over the years. Apparently, I wasn't going into stage 4 sleep, nor REM. Wow.
Also, my doctor called and indeed my thyroid function is STILL low, and said that I would probably have to be put on meds, but that he is going to wait two more months and then retest me. I am glad he is testing me one more time, although, it is a pain in the ass to wait for medication that might make me feel better. I think once you start taking thyroid medicine you are on it for life, so I want him to be sure that I definitely need it first.
Enough of that health stuff.
My daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago. She is VERY homesick, but I think she will get used to it. She only ended up moving a couple of blocks from me, but the house does seem empty. She sent me a text at 2am the other day telling me she was sooo homesick - and then at 6am she was standing over my bed looking at me. She had been bike riding the day before and rode too many miles. Her aching muscles woke her up, so where was she to go??? MOM's. Yep. That's me. Curer of all ailments. Thank you. Thank you. Next time. I hope it is more like 10am than 6am.
So, the results of my sleep lab: I have sleep apnea. I have to wear a fabulous CPAP machine every night. I have only slept all the way thru the night once. Twice until 4am, and other times til around 1am. Really, I am kind of grateful that my insurance not only paid for my $4000.00 sleep study, but they also paid for my CPAP machine. Absolutely no out-of-pocket for me on that one. That being said, I am going to try my best to wear it as I should. I REALLY felt a difference this morning after using it. I woke up feeling like superwoman. I still have a lot of lost sleep to catch up on. They say it takes a while to make up the sleep deficit that I have accumulated over the years. Apparently, I wasn't going into stage 4 sleep, nor REM. Wow.
Also, my doctor called and indeed my thyroid function is STILL low, and said that I would probably have to be put on meds, but that he is going to wait two more months and then retest me. I am glad he is testing me one more time, although, it is a pain in the ass to wait for medication that might make me feel better. I think once you start taking thyroid medicine you are on it for life, so I want him to be sure that I definitely need it first.
Enough of that health stuff.
My daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago. She is VERY homesick, but I think she will get used to it. She only ended up moving a couple of blocks from me, but the house does seem empty. She sent me a text at 2am the other day telling me she was sooo homesick - and then at 6am she was standing over my bed looking at me. She had been bike riding the day before and rode too many miles. Her aching muscles woke her up, so where was she to go??? MOM's. Yep. That's me. Curer of all ailments. Thank you. Thank you. Next time. I hope it is more like 10am than 6am.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Whoa!
Wait! For some reason, I can now log onto my blog from work! WTF???
HMMMM. Now, I am worried. Did they specifically target this blog, because I had visited it so much in the past, or was it just an error. They do that here sometimes. They have blocked all websites on accident.
Okay, well. I have a lot to write about - just no time. Damn. I feel like I have been put on the spot with nothing to say. I will come up with something. Just give me a minute.
HMMMM. Now, I am worried. Did they specifically target this blog, because I had visited it so much in the past, or was it just an error. They do that here sometimes. They have blocked all websites on accident.
Okay, well. I have a lot to write about - just no time. Damn. I feel like I have been put on the spot with nothing to say. I will come up with something. Just give me a minute.
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