I do not want to be at work today. I am just not motivated to be here. I think I am cramping...which we all know what that signifies. I am sure that is the source of my unmotivation. I was supposed to start on Oct 30, but of course since I am always a week or two late, I am not going to start until today. Hmmm. I guess it could be worse. I am shaky, clumsy, and pretty much a total wreck. Geez.
My ex husband asked again if he could be my room mate. And with my daughter on the brink of moving out, I have to say, the selfish money grubbing part of me wants to let him move in to her empty room and pay half the rent. I am still considering this option. I will have to lay down some ground rules though. I will not be nagged in my own home, and I will be in charge of the remote. This is not a democracy.
He also said that he is still in love with me. He will just have to keep that to himself. I am not even thinking about romance right now. I have too much going on.
I am tired today. I have a test in psychology and I don't even care. Blah fucking blah blah blah.
I am still considering turning my cable off in addition to the phone/dsl that I had turned off. I just need the money and I need to not watch so much tv.
I feel depressed. This is kinda funny, because I think I accidentally took my antidepressant twice this morning. Weird.
Ack. What can I say. I feel like a dumbass, dork, dimwitted nobody.
There, how's that for an entry.
5 comments:
Boy that's a tough consideration right there. Would it work?
That is insane. Literally. Nothing against the ex, but this is a bad move. Have you been thinking about all these things you've written, or was it just 'lip' (finger?) service. More like a hand-job. I know how hard this must be, but it would leave me very disappointed. I can not say what a bad idea this is, IMO...
I want to apologise for how I said that, not what I said. I realize you are feeling a thousand other...'things', but it is difficult to address more than one (see, I LIKE to play therapist)when one types s-o s-l-o-w-l-y, such as myself. Seriously, you should try typing one-handed with double vision. Aaack. Pphhhtt. And beside all that, I didn't mean to yell, which I was (did). Even if you couldn't tell.
Oh I could certainly tell that you were yelling. I don't mind. I like to be told the truth, and I like to be put in my place, or have my memory jogged if need be. I should go back and read my blog. I haven't done that yet. Perhaps, this would aid in my decision.
I am really trying to figure things out to my advantage. I'm not so good at that. Can anyone give me some lessons in manipulation?
Oh, sweet. You're ASKING for it and I probably can't give it to you. That figures...I could try, tho'.
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