Why?

I'm feeling a little bit depressed today. In just a bit of a funk. I am trying my best to get in the mood to study for my biology test tomorrow. I don't want to blow my 'A', but I just can not gather the gumption to open my book again. I hate depression.

My husband came by yesterday, and spent the night last night. We are more like friends than husband and wife. Well, I think that husband and wife should be the best of friends, but it seems like we are missing a key element - the spark, or whatever it is that makes marriage special. I keep trying to blame it on him, but it is partly me. I just don't have the energy right now to make things better. He seems disinterested, and I am just a blob of nothingness. Apathy. Maybe, I am just tired of thinking.

I went to buy skates yesterday, and actually went in to a couple of skating rinks to look at their skates. I figured out my size, and now I am just going to buy them online. I can't even get excited about that right now. Man. I just feel blah.

My diet sucks right now. I can't think of the last time that I ate anything healthy. I am sure that has something to do with my depression. I eat like crap, and I get no exercise. I have broken out with a weird rash on my face, and now I am questioning whether or not I can keep pushing myself in school for the next two years. Why is it that things can look wonderful one day and turn to shit the next?

I just watched a documentary on The Last Days of Lisa Lefteye Lopes. It was inspiring. It should have made me want to go out and grab life by the horns, but...now, I just feel defeated.
I feel a little worse. Why?

The world is a beautiful place, and I am blessed, but I just feel like nothing.

Why?